Monday, September 30, 2002

Willpower will never succeed in dealing with the deeply ingrained habits of sin.

- Richard J. Foster, Celebration of Discipline

I have recently started on my second book - Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. I finished Where is God When It Hurts? by Philip Yancey over the weekend and so, I'm working towards one of the goals that I have set before myself this term. I definitely recommend this book. To be honest, I recommend anything written by Yancey. He has a style of writing that is very educational… and very therapeutic at the same time. I know I’ve been holding off reading this book by Foster. In a sense, I enjoy my undisciplined life a little too much. Perhaps I’m even afraid to change my ways (becoming more disciplined? Heaven forbid!) Interestingly enough, right off the bat, the author shattered any preconceptions that I had about discipline and how to induce such a virtue into my life. I always imagined that by sheer willpower, I would be able to conquer the sins in my life: sloth, lust, pride, anything and everything. Yet, here is a man who goes even further, stating that even through prayer, meditation, etc. one cannot achieve true spiritual discipline. He proposes that many christians have the tendency to turn such disciplines into laws (much like the Pharisees). He points to Colossians 2:20-23 “self-imposed worship”; he interprets the passage as a comment that the many strenuous efforts in our spiritual walk is basically idolatry. Certainly we can work/discipline ourselves in becoming more loving, more learned in the scriptures, more godly… but does this necessitate a transformation of the inner spirit. Foster proposed that inner righteousness (thus spiritual discipline) is a gift from God. He points to Romans, where Paul goes to great lengths to insist that righteousness is unattainable through human effort. Well now, how can I balance the idea that a true disciplined life is ultimately not attainable with the notion that I must still do something to allow God’s work for my inner transformation? I guess I will just have to read the book. Hmm, one must wonder how I can read so much yet have classes, hwk, etc. Well, school is something I must truly work on! At least my academic efforts is a practical reflection of my quest for true discipline. Man, gotta go hardcore with the studying. Tune in tomorrow for more twisted facts spewing from the mouths of the mathies.


Yu-Ling posted at 9/30/2002 11:53:00 PM

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

The real problem is what to do with the problem-solvers after the problems are solved."

- Gay Talese

Let the puzzle parties begin. Today was the first time that I officially invited people over to my house for a nice, relaxing evening of puzzle making/problem solving. Again, the mood was set to the sound of oldies. haha. Once again I find myself trapped beneath the times of music from a different era... and I'm taking other people along for the ride! Ivan, Andrew and Bonnie came over to tackle my puzzle. I think they put in 30-40 pieces? That's a pretty good job. Of course, besides the obvious reason of bringing my puzzle into 'loo (I want to finish building it before end of winter term), I have witnessed the first signs of old fashion fun of people sitting around a table, doing some "monotonous" task, and just indulging in each other's company. You would think that in Waterloo, you could always create an environment that will lead to enjoyably, relaxed conversation. In my opinion, most of my conversations consist of routine discussions involving worldly things, heated venting sessions, or spirit-draining chats about spiritual matters (go figure). So I figure, offer a puzzle to solve, put on some soothing music, provide some snacks, and you have the means to get to know your fellow man in a nice setting. Now… in spite of all these romantic notions about setting the mood of camaraderie and genuine fellowship, I found myself being cut up quite a bit. The conversation often veered towards the fact that I have many heart shaped objects in my room - the spaghetti strainer, my waste basket, and this little stuffed one given to me by my previous housemates. Also, my choice in clothing is limited in colour, I hardly speak any Chinese, and I rarely sing at other people’s whims. Certainly these faultfinding comments are grounds to kick out unwanted guests… but if you know me, I do have a thicker skin than that. I just found it interesting that these tactfully-judgmental comments are beginning to be uttered in front of my face. I guess the road to true honesty between people will begin with a little poke/fun. Truly, the conversations were all said in a loving manner. I was laughing for most of the time anyhow. I just pause to think about my own personality and how my friends see me. Well, there’s always the weekend for another night of puzzle-merriment. Perhaps this time, I’ll put on Casablanca in the background. Tune in tomorrow where we explore just how deep the rabbit hole truly is.


Yu-Ling posted at 9/24/2002 11:39:00 PM

Monday, September 23, 2002

We are what we repeatedly do, excellence then is not an act, but a habit.

- Aristotle

Two weeks of school has past by and yet I have nothing to show for it. I'm already stuck in my idleness... forever drifting within the sea of sloth. Now, here I am. I will type out my plans for this term, and I ask that all who know me will hold me accountable to my goals. Academic Integrity Not only is this one of my biggest struggles, it is the one problem that directly affects my future. I aim to attend all my classes faithfully (even the dreaded 8:30s) and will do my homework daily. Bible Study/Devotions Being a part of the bible study group allows me an easy way to actively pursue a time of daily devotion. In my studies of the scriptures, I hope to gain further insight into my role in life. I have a most interesting group... hopefully I will not falter when my faith is challenged. Men's Cell Group I am leading the men's cell group this term. In bringing forth my own spin into this group, I hope that I may help the guys in dealing with "guy issues". Better yet, I pray that we can establish a long lasting accountability group for guys in the fellowship. Big plans, little time. God will provide. Melodious Piano Playing This will be the second term with my Yamaha P80. I have the books, I have the software, I have the desire... I just need the discipline to practice. In my quest to diversify my worship piano skills, I hope to be able to learn through diligent practice, as well as from other people. One Term Bible Plan Very few christians have read the bible in its entirety. I hope to be among the few who has read the whole thing by the end of this term. Certainly I'm sacrificing depth in this plan, however, I believe that even with a casual reading I may be able to learn many new things. Five Books Reading Plan By the end of the term, I hope to finish at least five books that are not required reading for my classes. I am nearly finished Where Is God When It Hurts by Philip Yancey. Reading has always been a passion of mine, and I wish to keep this discipline as I enter my seasoned years as a university student. Exercise Exercise Exercise It's been nearly 2 1/2 years since I have actively exercised. Working out 4 times a week should help me to discipline my body. Some of my plans are very feasible. Others, will take a lot of discipline (given the busyness of my schedule). Yet, I have faith that if I am willing to regulate my body, my mind, and my spirit... all these goals are within my grasp. So please check up on me once and a while. If I'm missing the mark on any of these, physically BEAT ME back into this schdule. Or come drop by my house sometime. We can chat over my 12000 piece puzzle. haha. Tune in tomorrow for more funny hijinks, shenanigans, and tom-foolery.


Yu-Ling posted at 9/23/2002 11:49:00 PM

Sunday, September 22, 2002

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body.

- Oliver Wendell Holmes

I am in the process of taking my music bath. Going through my various mp3 folders... listening to playlists (divided by categories), and doing a little cleaning of all my songs. I can always rely on my oldies playlist. Man, two days in a row... non-stop oldies... I'm a total dreamer. Let It Be When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom Let it be And in my hour of darkness She is standing right it front of me Speaking words of wisdom Let it be Let it be, let it be Let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom Let it be And when the broken hearted people Living in the world agree There will be an answer Let it be For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see There will be an answer Let it be Let it be, let it be Let it be, let it be yeah, there will be an answer Let it be Let it be, let it be Let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom Let it be And when the night is cloudy There is still a light that shines on me Shine until tomorrow Let it be I wake up to the sound of music Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom Let it be Tune in tomorrow where we explore beyond the other side of the sun.


Yu-Ling posted at 9/22/2002 07:21:00 PM

Saturday, September 21, 2002

Why can't you be in a good mood? How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood once in a while?

- Lloyd Dobler, Say Anything...

I always said I'm an oldies guy at heart. I'm in one of those Casablanca - Breakfast at Tiffany's type of mood. Take a glass of martini, put on some Nat King Cole, and come join me in looking at the autumn moon. Autumn Leaves The falling leaves drift by the window The autumn leaves of red and gold.... I see your lips, the summer kisses The sunburned hands, I used to hold Since you went away, the days grow long And soon I'll hear ol' winter's song. But I miss you most of all my darling, When autumn leaves start to fall. Since you went away, the days grow long And soon I'll hear ol' winter's song. But I miss you most of all my darling, When autumn leaves start to fall. Tune in tomorrow for nice long walks in the moonlight, and soothing conversations that last til sunrise.


Yu-Ling posted at 9/21/2002 09:55:00 PM

Thursday, September 19, 2002

Excuse me, God. Why did you make all women strange? And some stranger than others? And some stranger than those? And finally, with all the really strange bits that you had left over, why did you use them to make the women in my life? Eh? Tell me. I need an answer. A postcard will do.

- Geoffrey Ballard, Waiting for God

My goodness. It certainly has been a long time since I strayed away from the guy/girl talk. I must immediately rectify the lack of relational matters with another spin on the same old song. Most recently in Waterloo, I have tried to exemplify the model of being a man of God. Certainly I have missed the mark many times, yet I am constantly trying to be a better man. Through the recent accountability in men’s cell and the continual promptings by female friends, I am steadily working towards the biblical view of maleness. Of course, a guy always wonders what’s going on with the girls. So, the latest theory… When women claim to help their male friends by teaching them proper etiquette in treating a lady, it is only out of a selfish motivation. This statement does seem rather bias, however, if one really pays attention, there is certainly a hint of truthfulness. I can appreciate that my girl friends care enough about me to aide me in my endeavor in becoming a more godly man. However, to constantly remind me to open the doors, carry the bags, walk the girls home is bordering on harassment. Not only must I do these things to be considered a proper gentleman, but I must endure the predictable justification that I am a slob because I do not do all those things. I absolutely believe that as a guy, I have certain responsibilities towards the fair gender. Yet, to take these responsibilities, and to use them as cause for a lack of male integrity is going a little too far (even if it is in a joking manner). Truly, I do not mind to be rebuked by a fellow brother or sister. This manner of reproach, however, is not done all in a loving manner. Perhaps, I’m being a little too harsh on ‘em girls. Maybe I should consider the plank in my own eye before looking at the speck in my sister’s. In any case, I always found it interesting how the two different sexes react to different forms of criticism. I wonder if I’m gonna get hung by this one… haha. Tune in tomorrow for incredible fun with hungry, hungry hippos.


Yu-Ling posted at 9/19/2002 08:36:00 PM

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

Pain is an illusion. An illusion that really, really, hurts.

- Grin, Might Ducks

My body really, really hurts. I never realized how badly I was out of shape until this week (and the week's not over yet...). It started with a good game of football on Sunday, a nice rain-drenched, shirt pulling, game of football. The occasional running downfield for a long throw and the tackles here and there resulted in an aching body the following morning. As if fate has decided to play an ironic twist in my life, Nate and I decide to go hardcore and start exercising Monday through Thursday. It will take quite some time before my body catches up the demanding routine that we have designed for ourselves this term. It’s sad that I let my physical health deteriorate to such a poor level. Truly, them high school days were the glory days (the days of regular exercise). No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

- Hebrews 12:11

Tune in tomorrow for a nice mix of pleasure and pain in your daily self-discipline of life.


Yu-Ling posted at 9/17/2002 11:59:00 PM

Sunday, September 15, 2002

I was frozen in time, but I feel as if my time is just beginning...

- Vincent Valentine, Final Fantasy VII

A week flies by and yet one hasn’t truly settled into the idea of school. Interestingly enough, although I have continued my studies from the spring term, I don’t feel that sense of continuity that carried over from the summer. Truly, it feels like a new term altogether. I imagine that this reaction is in part due to the tremendous amount of energy spent in organizing NSR. Yet, I must admit that I feel a new sense of beginning… not only for myself, but also for my fellowship, my relationships, my studies, as well as my worship of God. I sat through a sermon about Ephesians 4 today. The topic was about unity among the believers and how to truly reconcile such a notion in this age of varied-opinionated individuals. As I reflect back on the message preached, I’m reminded once again about the struggles that are close to my heart... having a divided fellowship. Coming from a very relational view in life, I sought out the reasons behind this discord in my conversations with various people. Pastor Tim made a very valid point in saying “when two or more people come together, there is bound to be disagreement.” It just so happens that disagreements turn into debates. Debates turn into Doctrinal viewpoints. Doctrinal viewpoints become the end-all-say-all. Add a little miscommunication with plenty of hurt feelings and you have yourself one recipe for a sick fellowship. Usually, I am criticized for my nonchalant disposition, especially in regards to matters of the fellowship. I find this quite amusing because I know exactly where I stand, I just choose to wait for all the facts/opinions/venting to filter through my thoughts before I speak my mind. I know I have an attitude that borders on indifference/disinterest (definitely something to work on); however, I always thought this was much more like a gift in disguise. It allows me the opportunity to listen first and speak later…. Something I think a lot of people have forgotten how to do. My hope in “sitting on the fence” was to eventually figure out a way whereby reconciliation can be easily attainable. In the matters of the fellowship, I’m gratefully surprised that even my unresponsiveness has gradually been replaced by a passion for my God. In seeking for the living Word, the spoken Word, and the written Word, I will continually seek the balance in all three. And now, we’re right back where we started. Tune in tomorrow for more fun and fancy-free.


Yu-Ling posted at 9/15/2002 11:55:00 PM

Monday, September 09, 2002

I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal.

- HAL, 2001: A Space Odyssey

Well now. After nearly a month long hiatus, I’m ready to actively start blogging again. Most of my time has been spent dealing with CCF program issues, specifically, the New Student Reception Ministry. Everything was going quite smoothly during those peaceful days of August. I was back in Toronto enjoying the familiar sights and sounds of city life. I loved the fact that I would be attending my home church on a regular basis (at least for a short while) and it was certainly great seeing the old gang. Yet, one Thursday night at the tail end of August, I received an e-mail from a friend: our booking of the SLC fell through and CCF is without a location in which we can hold NSR Dinner. I was greatly anticipating for the month of September. Not only must I help in the preparation of CCF frosh week activities, but I have this massive location problem to deal with as well. I moved into Waterloo on the Monday (sept 2) and found that my new house (good old Westcourt townhouse complex) has a rather nasty aroma coming up from the basement. My room… the basement… reeked of dog. Not wanting to deal with such a problem immediately, I spent the week at a friend’s house. Throughout the week, life consisted of daily planning for the next frosh event. It was throughout the week that I began to see a great potential for the froshes this year. They are absolutely wonderful people and it will be nice to be able to fellowship with them this coming fall term. Quiet time during that first week of September was very rare. The continual frustrations that I had to deal with in regards to the location problem was showing its wear and tear. I found myself becoming easily irritable and rather infuriated. Everyone involved with the ministry were showing signs of the same problem: anger, resentment, and bitterness. Now, when I reflect back on the week, I believe that all the emotional problems, the administrative problems, relational problems, ultimately aided me in seeing the big picture. It was through all the fear and turmoil that I had no other choice but to depend on God. In spite of all the planning, in the end, we only had to rely on our faith in Him. In the end, NSR Dinner was moved to KWCAC. Although there was a great decrease in the projected number of frosh that showed up, I was still amazed at the level of commitment demonstrated by our first year friends. Truly, I cannot wait to walk the road of life alongside my newfound brothers and sisters. In these very uncertain times, there are a few tidbits that I learned/relearned throughout the week: 1) If you’re planning to move into a basement, air it out right away. 2) Watching a romantic movie with just guys is OKAY. 3) Being a “venting person” is a tough job. 4) You can ALWAYS rely on your Pastor. Always. 5) Pray all the time. (I’m getting used to praying cross-legged again) Tune in tomorrow for more exciting news from smelly H20-loo.


Yu-Ling posted at 9/09/2002 11:38:00 PM