Friday, July 29, 2005

Let's talk about sex, baby Let's talk about you and me Let's talk about all the good things And the bad things that may be Let's talk about sex

- Salt 'N' Pepa, Let's Talk about Sex

Anyone remember this song? I looked it up in the group's biography, and it was released in their third album, Blacks' Magic - in 1989. My goodness, 1989, I was 8 years old... in grade 3. I think I'm beginning to recognize/acknowledge that the biggest contributing factor to my sex education is due to music. What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

- Rob, High Fidelity

Last week I was invited by Ivan and Anita to help them give a sex talk to the youth in their church. You think public speaking is scary... you think asking someone out is hard to do... well, add up all those awkward/fearful experiences together and you reach the level of fear and trepidation that I felt when doing the prep work for this talk. To make my heart beat even more unevenly, I was told that I would team up with Ivan and would just speak to the guys - 10 to 15 guys MAX. Yeah right. There ended up being 20 to 30 guys, drastically ranging in age, and having no discernable unity in the group (yes yes... but they're united in Christ...). Before breaking off into gender groups, we showed a clip from the OC. It showed a conversation between two girls discussing whether one of them should have sex with some guy. The girl goes looking for the guy, sees him locking lips with someone else, and runs off to be with another guy. I hope we didn't get into trouble for showing some skin in a church. Next part of the night was the fun part. So here am I sitting in a circle of 20-30 guys and without dilly-dallying, we go straight into the heart of the matter. I shared briefly about my struggles, how I was first exposed to sexually explicit material at a young age, and how the need to satisfy this sexual hunger still exists today and often causes me to stumble. Then, of course, we start talking about something close to all guys and their hearts: video games. Specifically, we talked about GTA San Andreas and the sex mod issue. Basically, GTA is a game rated mature (17+) and the point of the game is to go around and steal cars and beat up people and potentially pick up girls as trophies of sorts. The point of controversy is that a group of hackers created a patch that can modify the game so that you can have sex with these girls. Many people have protested and now the game is pulled out of most stores until it can be re-rated with an AO rating (Adults Only). For more info check out this link. Another relevant controversy involved Jessica Simpson and her new music video - 'These boots are made for walking'. Because Simpson is a professed Christian (and being a pastor's kid), many Christian groups have protested against the video - saying that she's degrading herself, etc. If you want to read about it, check out this link. The main talk about the night centered around the diverse opinions that the guys had about specific issues. Collectively, we tried to define sex and it was difficult. There were many little nuances in our collaborative effort and if I had forced us to come to a common definition of sex, I don't think anyone of us could fully agree with every other guy about said definition. The diversity of thought really began to be seen when I wrote out PT's scale of physicality. Basically, from a scale ranging from talking, holding hands, hugging... all the way to actual penetration in a sexual act - In this scale where physical things happen in a relationship, where do you think sex begins? Let's just say there were a variety of answers as I took a census from all the guys (one guy HAD TO give the standard bible answer - 'isn't lusting in your heart part of sex? so communication is the beginning of the act of sex'). On a side note, I had a similar conversation with some people in my softball team... and again there was a variety of answers. Didn't help that the table beside us was an elderly couple just frowning at us... haha. Next, Ivan drew a different scale where he demonstrated the different standards between guys and girls. Generally, guys would want to commit physically earlier then emotionally. So if a girl wants a higher level of emotional commitment, the guy begins to think that the girl feels they are further along in the relationship. He starts feeling agitated because he doesn't understand how she can be so far ahead in the relationship as compared to him. The reverse can generally be said about girls - they want to commit emotionally earlier then physically. Of course these are generalizations but I saw many guys have that 'Ah-ha' look on their faces. The tough part of the night was when we started speaking about the effects of lust, especially exhibited through porn and masturbation. The room suddenly became more quiet than usual, and I'm thankful that several of the older guys were still able to speak about the issues at hand. Most of the conversation than became standard 'don't judge' talks, and let's help one another by creating a more open community where such talks are not taboo. Some resources that were valuable to me in preparing for this part of the night include the following: Pornography XXXChurch They claim to be the "#1 Christian porn site". They have a very unique ministry and it would be so great if more of us can approach struggles like lust in an open manner such as them. Masturbation youth specialities article Dobson's view Variety of perspectives My closing thoughts and observations. When talking about sex, lust and all that goes with it, people are always interested. But, for these issues, it's hard to move from general interest to personal sharing. I found that to be the case with the talk. It was easy for us as guys to joke around, having 'locker room chats'. I was pleasantly surprised that we could even handle a more mature approach and try to look at issues like masturbation objectively. But, having to cross the line from 3rd party observer to be a personal confessor and fellow struggler - that's hard. In trying to gauge how effective the conversation was throughout the night, I was constantly looking at facial expressions and other non-verbal clues. I still remember this one younger guy who didn't look up the whole night, just kinda stared at his feet and playing with his chair. I remember the awkwardness of that age, and hopefully in the future if I have to share more about sex,etc. I will keep people like him in mind. I'm thankful that at the end of the night, one older guy approached me and said that people brought up great issues in our conversations. He asked if I could go and speak to his sunday school class... haha (instead, I should talk to MY ss class about this stuff). What was even more surprising is that he brought a seeker friend. I think the talk was constructive and was the beginning of removing any barriers of honesty/judging that people may have with one another. I'm hopeful that these guys can continue to grow together and really desire to speak the truth in love to one another. A common thread in our conversations was that the church needs to be more open, more loving and less condemning (not necessarily less sexually restrictive). It will have to start with these guys forging a brotherhood amongst themselves. On a totally different note, I've been officially accepted into Tyndale as a fulltime student pursuing a Masters of Divinity with majors in Christian Education and Theology. We'll see if I can stick to this double major craziness. Man... who needs to lie down? Tune in again after a nice, long, vacation of the mind.


Yu-Ling posted at 7/29/2005 11:17:00 AM

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Bart: At Sunday school they said the lepers were cured by some bearded dude... Homer: Jesus? Bart: Yeah that sounds right.

- The Simpsons, Episode: Little Big Mom

I've been facilitating the university sunday school class for the last 3 weeks, and it's been quite the funny-bizarre-interesting experience. I've basically taken up teaching duties because there was going to be a break in between teaching units. So instead of allowing all the univ people to go have an extended lunch, I decided to work on my chops as a SS teacher/facilitator (I actually still don't see myself as a SS teacher, so in my church bulletin, I label myself as a class 'facilitator'). To be honest, my approach in leading the class was to try as many different things as possible. I wanted to experiment with a variety of ideas, approaches and lesson plans. Certainly, this was my opportunity to test whether certain dreams/schemes that I have been reading about in the emerging church can work in TCBC. So the results so far? meh... s'okay-la. It really takes a lot of balance and discernment to properly motivate a classroom full of students about a variety of topics. Trying to mix in relevance and humor while getting students (most who are your peers) engaged in active discussion is fairly difficult. I would rather lead a small group discussion or do actual 'classroom' format teaching, seems so much easier. Yet, I feel that this continual struggling together as a class is what God would want. Hopefully I can learn better teaching/facilitating techniques in Tyndale. So what have I been teaching so far? Well, I've been borrowing material from various sources. For the first class, I gave out a quiz that was adapted from PT's infamous SS quiz in waterloo. It's basically a bible/theology/church history test. After searching online, I found the template for the UW test. If you're interested in testing your biblical/theological knowledge, go to this LINK. The average was probably 30-40 out of 100+ questions (which is actually not that bad), but hopefully this will spur on the students to either take the bible SS or theology SS in the fall (yes, there is REASON behind my MADNESS). The second class, we started looking at the emerging culture/worldview. Along with discussing possible responses and types of responses the church could/should do when met with issues such as abortion, homosexuality, etc. - I gave the class another quiz, this one was more 'fun' as it tests whether you demonstrate more modern/postmodern tendencies in relation to certain developing trends in culture. If you want this test, just msg me. On sunday, to explore one of the developing trends in detail (objective truth vs. subjective truth), the class was given several quotes taken from interviews, movies, books and music. They were then supposed to discuss the relevance and impact that it has on the world at large, on christians generally, and on them specifically (the class was entitled - "Jesus and/or/vs Christianity"). Suffice it to say, lots of interesting things were discussed. Here are 2 quotes that generated some fun discussions: I became disillusioned by a lot of things that happened to me by Christian people.

- Scott Stapp, lead singer of Creed

White folks only want to hear the good s#!t: life eternal, a place in God's Heaven. But as soon as they hear they're getting this good s#!t from a black Jesus, they freak. And that, my friends, is called hypocrisy. A black man can steal your stereo, but he can't be your Savior.

- Rufus (Christ Rock), Dogma

In several weeks, I'm hopeful that my class and the entire high school group can do a walk around the local neighborhood and see just what is around us - open our eyes a little to the vast difference in lifestyle, in wealth... and maybe we just may become more of a missional church. In the meantime, if you have any suggestions on what else I can do for my loose bag of sunday school topics, plz let me know. Tune in again for more SS updates for the insane.


Yu-Ling posted at 7/19/2005 12:34:00 AM

Friday, July 08, 2005

At the mundane level there are degrees in the kind and amount of evil that is produced.

- Ted Peters, Sin: Radical Evil in Soul and Society

I have finally finished my last paper for sys.theo.1 with Dennis Ngien. The paper was a major book critique on Ted Peter's - Sin: Radical Evil in Soul and Society. This book was disturbingly enlightening. I learned a lot about how evil manifests intself, especially in the 7 classic categories of evil: 1) Anxiety 2) Unfaith 3) Pride 4) Concupiscence (lust) 5) Self-Justification 6) Cruelty 7) Blasphemy Not only are these all different forms of sin, but Peters argue that there is a progressive path starting from anxiety, all the way to blasphemy... what he calls 'radical evil'. Us mainline christians are so used to labelling all sin as the same - ie. eternal consequence is that you're a sinner in God's eyes. Yet, in terms of our own human interactions, can we honestly claim that the sin of lying is the same as mass genocide? Peters makes a convincing argument that we should be concerned with just how large the scope certain sins can affect our lives and our world. What was especially disturbing was Peters' anecdotal evidence of radical evil. He started writing this book out of a need to explore the more extreme forms of evil that manifests itself in society. Without getting into detail, he shared some shocking stories about ritual abuse, cults, Satanism, etc. The book has helped me articulate what sin and evil is, esp. in light of today's society. I really appreciated the look into the more extreme forms of evil found in Satanism (something mainlines tend to neglect). I also enjoyed how Peters described our social structure based on concupiscence framework. Isn't our current worldview based on our own selfworth and selfgain... at the cost of others? What I found lacking in the book was a more detailed description of the historical development of Satan. Peters begins by looking at the biblical introduction of Satan through the book of Job (possibly the OLDEST book in the bible), and he suggests a very interesting perspective of Satan being a kind of 'external conscience' for humanity who indirectly points to the huge gap between us and God. What was frustrating, was the point in which Peters state that the idea of the Devil's fall from heaven developed during the intertestamental period and it was probably perceived as an extrapolation of the human sense of fallenness. If only Peters can explain this more in detail. On to more lighthearted things - I've finished my assigned readings for the sys.theo.1 course, which means I only have 7 more books in the 10 BOOK CHALLENGE. I've also begun teaching SS at church. I'm doing a series called 'equipping the church', and it's basically a mixed bag of various topics. I'm hopeful that in fall, along with Bill's theology class (TCBC's english preacher), and uncle simon's 'how to study the bible' class, I can start a third class that can meet the needs of the university students. Last week was the first class, and the first thing I did - I gave PT's bible/theology test to the class... BWAHAHA. There was a surprising mix of scores - I'm hopeful that some of them will want to go to either the bible or theo class in the fall. This coming week, I'll be talking about christian and emerging culture, and of course, will do another quiz with the class. Oh the fun times. In other news, I purchased 3 more books from Amazon. I bought Randy Frazee's youthful adaptation of Dallas Willard's 'renovation of the heart'. I purchased Jonny Baker's 'Alternative Worship' (a staple of the emergent conversation). And lastly, due to my increasing desire to understand all things jewish, I bought Athol Dickson's 'The Gospel According to Moses: What my Jewish friends taught me about Jesus'. Just a few links to keep you going. These are my bread/butter as far as pomo christianity is concerned. Ginkworld theOoze Brian McLaren Open Source Theology Labyrinth Tune in again where we rock and roll all night long.


Yu-Ling posted at 7/08/2005 01:11:00 PM