Wednesday, July 28, 2004

A man should not strive to eliminate his complexes but to get into accord with them: they are legitimately what directs his conduct in the world.

- Sigmund Freud

After seeing Connie's personality test on her blog, I started doing a whole bunch of tests at tickle.com For better or worse, the following are my results at this point in my life. What makes you unique Yu-Ling, your most unique quality is that you're unusually Conscientious You are the kind of person others depend on. You're competent, self-disciplined, and able to carry through with any plan you create. You've just got it together. You're also good at weighing the pros and cons of any situation and making sound, well-informed decisions. Compared to others who are conscientious, you are unusually thoughtful. Only 5.5% of all test takers have this unique combination of personality strengths. The Ultimate Personality Test Yu-Ling, you're a Skydiver! You're open minded, extroverted, free-spirited, and independent. Chances are you're pretty liberal. You're like a magnet for love and affection. People adore you. And, thanks to that healthy dose of self-confidence, you're super-flexible. Chances are, you're a great leader at work. You're also a self-starter and will always volunteer to take on a job. You're also an excellent communicator and tend to spread your enthusiasm to others. What's your destiny Yu-Ling, your destiny is to be a Provider Whether you know it or not, this is the role that is most in tune with who you are at your core. As a Provider, you have a genuine nurturing concern for the welfare of others and you're eager to serve them. You can recognize exactly what people need and your friendly, helpful, social nature makes them feel comforted. With your kind and generous heart, you are personable, talkative, and outward with your emotions, and your openness and sensitivity makes you concerned about the way others view you. Along these lines, be careful not to blame yourself when things go wrong. You cannot prevent bad things from happening, even though your tendency to be orderly with a strong sense of right and wrong may lead you to believe you can. Accept that you do what you can to take care of things and that this will get you far in the world. Are you a secure lover? Yu-Ling, you tend to gravitate toward romantic partners who have a Secure attachment style. People with a secure attachment style are warm, open and trusting. They are typically comfortable with themselves and show high regard for others. Attachment style begins in infancy with the interactions we have with our parents or primary caregivers. Through these early relationships we begin to understand the dynamics and patterns of close relationships and we carry this perspective into our adult relationships. Psychologists call your attachment style Secure. You tend to be an open and trusting romantic partner. You find it relatively easy to get close to people, and are generally comfortable depending on others. 10% of those who have taken our test share this style of attachment. Your answers on our test show that when it comes to relationships you have grown beyond your earliest attachment issues. While you may not have every issue resolved, you're making substantial progress at establishing healthy relationship patterns. Finding Mr./Ms. Right Yu-Ling, when it comes to dating, you're a Shy Realist. Despite your tendency to be shy, you're determined to take the time to really get to know the important people in your life, especially your romantic partners. Your challenge is to get yourself over that initial hurdle of meeting new people and maintaining that blossoming relationship. What are you like in love? Yu-Ling, when you're head over heels, you are an Essential Companion You respect and value the people in your life, but you also make your romantic relationships a top priority. You are not typically the type to try to impress others with fancy romantic gestures. Nor are you someone who obsesses over your appearance. If that special someone is willing to take you as you are, you will happily do the same for them. And if they're not, chances are you should keep on following your heart to a new love for your life — one that might be right around the corner. Love does change you. Whether it simply enhances who you already are, or makes you a completely different person, finding someone whose love personality compliments your own makes for the longest, happiest relationships. Why you choose the partners you choose Yu-Ling, your romantic pattern is Romantic Rescue! Love is all-powerful in the Romantic Rescue pattern. It is the catalyst for change within yourself as well as the means through which you discover if your partner is who you want and need them to be. But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: A desire to save your partner from his own self-destruction, or the desire to be saved by someone for the same reason. Some people adopt the hero role in this pattern — nursing an ailing partner back to health, saving them from a string of previously destructive relationships, maybe even saving them from a physical danger. Others cast themselves as those in need of rescue — relying on their partners to swoop in and save them from whatever ill-fate's been visited upon them, either real or imagined. It also sets up one of the parties as a savior. Though perhaps not as epic as seen in the characters in novels or films, this is significant nonetheless. In Hemmingway's tragic love story, "Farewell to Arms," an injured soldier is nurtured back to health and into a blissful romance by a kindly nurse. Not long after, she's the one at death's door. In "Run Lola Run," a woman has twenty minutes to come up with a large amount of money to save her boyfriend's life. How far she goes to obtain it is a measure of her devotion or delusion. If someone is willing to care for a loved one in times of adversity, they've already demonstrated a strong level of commitment, as well as proof that they can carry you through the tough times. They have also inspired in you a confidence that you will not only be willing to, but looking to switch roles when the need arises. There is a distinct comfort in this. So how exactly did you get here? Many people who share this pattern with you have experienced some loss in their life. Did you help take care of family members when you were young? Did you need more attention and care than your parents were able to provide? You tend to repeat your childhood roles in your adult relationships, whether you're aware of it or not. Someone who was a caregiver early in life, may continue to be so in romantic relationships. A person who needed more attention from parents, may automatically provide others with the care they wished they had received. Being needed is a basic human desire. Being able to depend on one another is what gives relationships meaning, so it's no wonder that this romantic pattern is so powerful. Evidence of your archetypal story is all around you — in history, books, and movies. In the classic fairytale "Beauty in the Beast," a woman brings out the softer side of a grumpy monster. She sees beyond his gruff exterior and gains his love in return. In "Breaking the Waves," Emily Watson plays a woman who makes the ultimate sacrifice to have her husband. He comes to regard her as a saint. Your pattern is being told and retold because it resonates with so many people. But this is just scratching the surface of what we uncovered about the romantic pattern that drives your relationships. While you were taking this test, we analyzed your responses to different types of questions, questions that get at the underlying factors of your relationship patterns. These questions measure aspects of your formative experiences, your self-esteem, and your subconscious reactions to romantic scenarios — the dimensions that direct your behavior and choice of partners. This allows us to look at the source of your romantic pattern — how and when this pattern became attractive to you — and allows us to make specific suggestions that will help you make better choices, and find true happiness in love. Why are you still single? Yu-Ling, you're single because you don't want to commit Once the blush of first love wears off with your partners, do you get a little antsy? You probably crave excitement in all realms of your life, and you need a relationship to keep you filled with possibilities. Let us guess: Someone has probably told you that you haven't quite grown up yet, that you're still holding out for the perfect "whatevers" (job, car, home, date) in your life to come a knockin'. Or perhaps you're just having a difficult time accepting that your comfortable little place in this world is always growing, always evolving — and that means you have to be willing to accept big life changes, too. Not that there's anything wrong with that. After all, you're probably a lot of fun to be around and may be the life of the party. But when it comes to settling down, you leave without looking back twice. Now's the time to ask yourself: Why? What's holding you back? Maybe you don't want someone to get to know you fully? Perhaps by saying "yes" to someone, you're afraid you'll lose yourself, or the possibility of something better coming along. Just remember that the best relationships are those that never stop growing. That's something you can identify with, right? So keep that in mind next time you find someone you're really comfortable with. You never know, it may prove even more exciting once you really get to know each other, teensy flaws and all. You like? More to come.


Yu-Ling posted at 7/28/2004 04:05:00 PM

Monday, July 12, 2004

Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.

- Kahlil Gibran

Well, I officially finished my first 2 ½ days of work at AFC. As of now, my work hours are full days on Thursday and Friday, and a half day on Saturday morning. As I walked into the staff meeting on Thursday morning (btw, every Thursday is a staff meeting @ AFC where we will study something together), I had a sense of excitement, nervousness, and finality all at the same time. I’m actually taking control of my life and pursuing a direction that I believe is correct. Two revelations after the first week of work: 1) I need to drastically improve my Chinese (canto AND mando). The meetings are conducted in english, however, some of the staff feel more comfortable expressing themselves in cantonese. I can understand most conversational Cantonese, and will even dare to utter a few sentences when I’m pressed. I’m realizing that although our Chinese christian culture is becoming more dominantly english speaking, yet having the ability to speak and write in canto/mando would be a tremendous asset. Guess I’ll follow tsui’s advice and watch a lot more Chinese movies. 2) Everyone who works at AFC has a degree relating to ministry, or is working towards such a degree. It’s interesting how we can easily talk about something very biblical, or very theological (we’re currently studying the Lausanne covenant) – then immediately switch gears and joke about the various ministries and its affects on our social lives. In any case, I hope that I may continue to learn and be stretched in this job. Oh btw, I’ll get my official AFC e-mail soon, but for now, my new e-mail is: yulingl@gmail.com Tune in again for some updates on the musical frontier.


Yu-Ling posted at 7/12/2004 09:49:00 PM

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.

- Douglas Adams

Wow. It’s been roughly two months since I last blogged. I must admit that the lack of content is partially due to a slothful schedule… waking up late, eating, do a little something here and there, eating, watch tele, eating, maybe go out, more eating, then sleeping late. Of course, apart from this sluggish schedule; I have actually been getting on with the rest of my life. I’ll try to list the various events (milestones, if you will) that have impacted me since I graduated. Campus Challenge During the long weekend in May, I participated in my last CC as an undergraduate student. I played the part of a recluse for most of the weekend. I was greatly anticipating the Sunday night program where I will be presenting something about spiritual gifts. It felt pretty much like a sermon and I cannot believe that there is an actual video recording floating around somewhere. I believed that God has blessed me through such an experience and I am already trying to improve on certain communication skills (first lesson learned: I am NOT an essay reader, I NEED to have point forms which allow room for improvisation). It’s all about applied knowledge and the building of experiences. Chicago Trip Early June, a bunch of us (Nate, Jon C, Rani, Connie, Tammy, and myself) took a road trip down to Chicago. It was a wonderful experience and I greatly appreciated the camaraderie during our trip. We basically took my van and drove through Sunday night, arriving in Chicago on Monday morning. Because certain people had to be back by Thursday night, we were planning on driving through Wednesday night – which means we only have 3 whole days to spend in Chicago. I must say that it was quite the draining trip. I’m talking about walking through a mile of high-end clothing stores; eating deep-dish pizza; going shopping; eating Italian beef sandwiches; going on a boat tour, billy goat’s – cheezeborger, cheezeborger, cheezeborger; fireworks; dressed up fancy dinner @ SWK; applause after #2 washroom usage; snacks and beer; jazz @ the green mill; christian eateries; Willowcreek (dangerous church – in a good way); sleep-ins; stool-in-face; girls enduring time-limit outlet shopping; childhood friend reunions; seeing the Holy Spirit move. Yes, I have tons of stories and several life lessons to share. Maybe I’ll blog in detail about some of those things later on. Church I have been back at TCBC, my home church, for roughly 2 months. I have found that I can easily get back into the routine and serve in various ways. Right now, I’m trying to explore the idea of helping out the english ministry in ways that I can be more effective to the local church. I have committed myself to TCBC for at least 2 years so I want to start using that time to efficiently utilize my gifts in servitude. Fellowship Several things have been declining as I have come back to TO. The lack of ‘formal’ fellowship was a great problem for me. Thankfully, a bunch of the newly graduates from my church has formed a small group and we are hoping that this group may be a means of support and accountability for one another. I am not too sure if it will continue in the fall, or even if it may grow to become something more than a small group… but, for now, I’m happy that I have a place where I can learn, be challenged, vent a little, and grow closer to others and to our Lord. Convocation I officially convocated on Saturday, July 19 @ 10am. I had spent the previous night talking to JT, Vanessa and Big Jon until 6am… which followed by an hour of sleep, and then heading off to the procession. It was a good program (although quite long) and it felt wonderful to hold the actual piece of paper in your hand. I couldn’t believe so many people came out to take pictures. God has definitely blessed me with many fellow brothers and sisters. I definitely felt some closure to another part of my life. Job Although I have been fairly idle in TO – I still felt the longing for the type of ministry that I had within the context of CCF. After a few looks around, talking to my parents and respected advisors, I had decided to officially apply to Ambassadors for Christ to become part of their university ministry team. I am glad to say that as of this Thursday, July 8; I will be officially part of the AFC staff. I am really excited about this new direction in my life. I have been thinking/praying about this potential venture for nearly 2 years and I believe I am following the path that God has laid out before me. I will be committing at least 2 years in this ministry and afterwards re-evaluate the direction of my life. So these are the days of my life. Thx for caring enough to read it – Let’s talk sometime. God bless. More to come as I really get into the thick of things.


Yu-Ling posted at 7/06/2004 03:50:00 AM