Wednesday, November 27, 2002

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

- Albert Einstein

What can I say? I'm doing math til I go insane.


Yu-Ling posted at 11/27/2002 11:02:00 PM

Friday, November 22, 2002

As man to man, we can learn more what it means simply to be a man.

- Charles R. Swindoll, Man To Man

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be a man of integrity. I see my whole person come under question due to struggles of manhood. I envision a guy being trapped on an island where my life is thinned out by the vastness of the ocean. In the end, it comes down to this: my struggle with God regarding my function as a guy. Already, in my repeated blogging of this subject, I understand that some may feel that this topic is cliché and done many times over. Some people question whether the emphasis on gender should even come up. For instance, by focusing on the strengths and weaknesses of both sexes, we are bound to draw two contrasting lists that eventually lead to varying degrees of inequality. So why am I so obsessed with this topic? I believe that by searching for authentic manhood, I will ultimately know God better. I believe that our current modern society has blurred the lines of proper gender functionality to the point where people feel shocked when you suggest that a guy (or girl) is more appropriate (even required) to perform a task. The author C.S. Lewis wrote, “God is so masculine, that all creation is feminine by comparison.” The earth in all its glory has often been referred to as a female. Mother Earth/Nature as we call her, is a symbol of how life responds to our Lord. Every breath on earth, every lightning bolt, every single male creature… is feminine compare to God. I think C.S. Lewis implied an understandable relationship between God and the universe. For what He wills, so do we submit. For as Christ is the husband, so the church is the bride. How can I not say that masculinity is important? More so, how can I not joyfully share the wonderful differences between men and women. I was in a car riding with a couple of friends back to my house in Waterloo. The sky was black, the road was wet from melted snow and the winds were pushing against the side of the car. Yet inside the warm interior, the windows were fogged over due to my own impassioned discourse about my desire to see submission as a key quality in women. Certainly, this idea of submission should be put into context. Yet, I’ll rather focus on the specific context of the key quality in men: initiation. I am by no means discouraging women to stand back and watch as the men dilly-dally across the issues of life. On the other hand, I wish to express my disappointment that most guys I know (myself included) take to a backseat view in life. I believe God has called upon the guys for certain special privileges; yet most of the time, we do not live up to these blessings. It pains my heart that most of us can only express our deepest feelings to one another when “there is supreme joy, when there is intense suffering, or when something has touched the depths of our spirits” (from When Men Think Private Thoughts). We often trivialize issues, constantly debating over which principle is better. Ultimately, it is the god of rhetoric, logic, and critical thinking that we worship. Truly, even spiritual matters come down to a matter of reasoning. There is a complete loss of exploring the emotionally spiritual aspects of our lives. Perhaps I am a little harsh on my brethren. I myself have fallen so far under the bar that I have set… how can I expect any better from my peers? I have no right to judge others for sins that I commit constantly. To be honest, this is my chief motivation for seeking comprehension in “guy issues”. Whether my reason is right or wrong, I hope that my journey towards true manhood would be one of obedience to the call of my Lord. Tune in again for a guide on how to be a woman.


Yu-Ling posted at 11/22/2002 06:00:00 PM

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

My life is music. My love is music. And it's 24 hours a day.

- Dale, 'Round Midnight

Sorry I haven't been keeping up with my updates. This month is always full of hustle and bustle, this and that, and all the other things that come along that prevents a person to blog. A second apology is in order because this will not be a substantial blog… but rather, another musical update. The following song aptly fits into the mood of the month. I think the whole melancholy sound matches my frame of mind for the past couple of weeks. In case the lyrics provoke some sort of weird rumours about my current relational status, I will clarify a few things. Unlike the song, I am not thinking about a lover… or even a potential lover. Rather, my thoughts are focused on the verse speaking about needing time alone. Sometimes, a person needs some time alone to wrestle with his dreams, his ideas, his convictions. November Rain by Guns N’ Roses When I look into your eyes I can see a love restrained But darlin' when I hold you Don't you know I feel the same 'Cause nothin' lasts forever And we both know hearts can change And it's hard to hold a candle In the cold November rain We've been through this auch a long long time Just tryin' to kill the pain But lovers always come and lovers always go An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today Walking away If we could take the time to lay it on the line I could rest my head Just knowin' that you were mine All mine So if you want to love me then darlin' don't refrain Or I'll just end up walkin' In the cold November rain Do you need some time...on your own Do you need some time...all alone Everybody needs some time... on their own Don't you know you need some time...all alone I know it's hard to keep an open heart When even friends seem out to harm you But if you could heal a broken heart Wouldn't time be out to charm you Sometimes I need some time...on my own Sometimes I need some time...all alone Everybody needs some time... on their own Don't you know you need some time...all alone And when your fears subside And shadows still remain I know that you can love me When there's no one left to blame So never mind the darkness We still can find a way 'Cause nothin' lasts forever Even cold November rain Don't ya think that you need somebody Don't ya think that you need someone Everybody needs somebody You're not the only one You're not the only one Tune in again for more laughs and giggles.


Yu-Ling posted at 11/20/2002 05:40:00 PM

Sunday, November 10, 2002

I'm laughing at clouds so dark up above, cause the sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love.

- Gene Kelly, Singin' In The Rain

Thank God it's sunday. Lifesong was good. Church was good. God is good. Glad I was able to sleep for NINE HOURS on friday. haha. Now I can lose sleep over school work all over again =). wipe my butt Tune in tomorrow for more rantings from my basement of doom.


Yu-Ling posted at 11/10/2002 08:55:00 PM

Friday, November 08, 2002

My wife used to fart when she was nervous.

- Sean, Good Will Hunting

I was waiting forever to use this quote =). Finally, Lifesong is upon us. Good luck to all those involved. "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

John 14:27

Yu-Ling posted at 11/08/2002 01:56:00 PM

Wednesday, November 06, 2002

No greater love than this... that you should lay down your life for someone such as me.

- Rachael Lampa, No Greater Love

It has been an exhausting week... where sleeping before 5 am has become a luxury. Lifesong: The World Is Not Enough is coming this friday in AL 116 at 7pm, it should be a great time of skits, songs, and generally a time devoted to giving testimony about the greatest love. Certainly even now, my thoughts remain focused on Lifesong. All my worries, my excitement... anything and everything of concern for friday night... is leading up to the two hours between 7 and 9. RIght now, I'm especially worried about my own group. Having not met as a full group, we're truly treading troubled water. Perhaps this is where faith comes in? All I can do now is pray, have faith... and listen to the two songs non-stop for the next two days. You're Everywhere by Third Day Like the rain that falls to the earth below Watering the seed to grow So it is with Your precious word, O Lord It won't return until I know that You're everywhere You're everywhere Like wind that blows no one really knows From where it comes or where it goes So it is with You Holy Spirit, Lord Falling down on us to show that ( You're everywhere ) Like the rain that falling ( You're everywhere ) Like the wind that's blowing ( You're everywhere ) Like the sun upon my face I feel the warmth in Your embrace You are everywhere My Lord, now I truly know That I could never go from Your presence My God, You are everywhere From the lowest depths to the heavens You're always there Something Beautiful by Jars of Clay If you put your arms around me Could it change the way I feel I guess I let myself believe That the outside might just Bleed it's way in Maybe stir the sleeping past Lying under glass Waiting for the kiss That breaks this awful spell Pull me out...of this lonely cell Close my eyes and hold my heart Cover me and make me something Change this something normal Into something beautiful What I get from my reflection Isn't what I thought I'd see Give me reason to believe Never leave me incomplete Will you untie this loss of mine It so easily defines me Do you see it on my face? And all I can think about Is how long I've been waiting to feel you move me Into something beautiful Into something beautiful And I'm still fighting for the Word to break these chains And I still pray when I look In your eyes, you'll stare right Back down into something beautiful Tune in tomorrow for more last minute prep, lack of sleep, general chaos,... these are a few of my favourite things.


Yu-Ling posted at 11/06/2002 09:20:00 AM