Sunday, March 12, 2006

TEENS CONFERENCE IS HERE. Please pray for the teens. Please pray for the coaches, rec teams, and other helpers. Please pray for me (still feeling chest pains). See y'all next week.


Yu-Ling posted at 3/12/2006 10:04:00 PM

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took a loaf of bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, "This is my body that is (BROKEN) for you. Do this in remembrance of me."

1 Corinthians 11:23-24

[the following entry took place between 2-6pm on March 2] side note: This was written during the second day of my 3-day silent retreat. I went with my tyndale class to Queen of Apostles renewal centre. It's a place of rest amidst much affluence and I enjoyed being there. The second day was when we started to have periods of silence during the day. After lunch, it was our time of silence (until dinner). I began by going outside and strolling along the credit valley river. It was really refreshing to read Psalm 133 (esp how the river contrasts/similar to the dews of Hermon). I remember thinking that parts of Heaven would be where I can take some time to be refreshed in a similar environment, have Jesus by my side, enjoy each other's company, and not even have to say a word. On the grounds of the retreat centre, there was this big (copper I think) crucifix. There were several tree stumps in front of it and I remember thinking which one I should choose, and how that would be an indicator of myself. I originally chose the one farthest from the cross in the corner, but then decided to sit directly in front of it, but still at the back. I sat staring at the crucifix and started to think about my thoughts on Jesus' death. I remember thinking that there's a place to mourn with Jesus, to mourn over his dying for us - even to ACKNOWLEDGE that my sins held him there. But I couldn't help thinking that the church had put so much emphasis on this that it has used this shaming/guilt technique to scare us into being Christians. So I read the passage from 1 Corinthians 11 and in v.24, my NRSV bible says 'this is my body that is FOR YOU. Do this in rememberance of me.' There was a footnote that said, 'other ancient authorities read - is BROKEN FOR YOU'. I started thinking that I acknowledge Jesus' body FOR ME and BROKEN FOR ME. But more than that, I want to move to EMBRACING Jesus' body and his brokeness. This is my desire to embrace other broken people, with their sins and all, and yet desire to help restore people in Jesus. I don't know what this will look like, but it's a deep desire of mine. I finished the Genesee Diary, loved it when I was eating it up - thought it was boring when I was just trying to rush through it. I think this quote summarizes were I am in my spiritual journey right now: "Normally, when I receive many letters I complain that I am too busy, and when I receive none I complain about lack of attention; when I work a lot I complain about lack of time to study and pray, when work little I feel guilty for not making a contribution. In this sense I very much confirmed the vision of the French chaplain who, after 15yrs of hearing confessions, had learned two things: People are not very happy and we never grow up. But during the past few weeks I have felt an inner distance which has allowed me to see my compulsions and therefore to lose them, and I have experienced some new inner freedom." I think this points to the inner tensions of life that I feel weigh upon me.


Yu-Ling posted at 3/07/2006 07:27:00 PM